3 Keys to Fulfillment

In our ‘next best thing’ world, we are rarely encouraged to stop and look within. Day in and day out we’re barraged with what’s going to make us thinner, bronzer, smoother, pout-ier, sexier, sassier and whatever else –ier one could possible think of.

Is it seductive? Sure. Is it temporarily fun? Sure. Is it distracting? Yah.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for moments of seduction, fun and distraction—in small doses.

There was a time in my life, well, let’s call it what it was—the first three decades of my life, where I was constantly searching outside of myself for validation. For recognition. Of any kind. For acknowledgment that I matter. A lot of that was spent on the dating/sex/pseudo relationship field of life. There was this constant tick buried in the caverns of my soul crying, “Love me. Tell me I’m ok. C’mon….tellllllll meeeeee you looooovvee me.”

What that looked like in reality was a woman who thought she had her sh*t together, but was really crying a lot late at night and sometimes in the middle of the day because she just didn’t know if it’s ever going to get better. It looked like a woman who chose men that only wanted her for one reason (and it wasn’t her brain), and even though the guys were occasionally compatible—she couldn’t shake the heartache of desperately wanting to be with someone who got her head, heart and lower. It looked like a woman who was afraid to ask for much of anything, but the truth was her vibe was so needy people weren’t too stoked to hang with her. Not a very pretty ‘next best thing’ picture.

Ultimately, breakdowns lead to breakthroughs (woot woot!). That’s when the wisdom can pour through and it got summed up as simple as this:

“Fill yourself from within so you don’t need something outside of you to fill the inner void.”

Simple? Yes. Easy? You decide.

Here are a few steps to stoke your inner mojo flame for the ultimate fulfillment —-

Connect with the Void

One of the most devastating parts of seeking fulfillment from the outside is that you’re usually not aware that’s what’s happening. It’s not popular or even pretty, yet it’s hugely transformative to connect with the void within. It’s that place that has you overeating at night before bed making you feel miserable. It’s the thing that has you sleep with people you have no interest in or are even that attracted to making you feel vacant. It’s that thing that keeps you working 14+ hours a day making you feel spent day in and day out. It’s insidious and it’s good at what it does—keeping you from YOU.

Stop and stare at the void. Just look at it like watching a sunrise. Miraculous and mysterious all at once. This kind of attention makes the void shake in its boots. Then, start chatting with the void. Hey void. How’s it going? What are you wanting today? This really whacks the void out and frazzles its existence. AND it gives you insight to what you are actually craving.

Discover Your Turn Ons

Once the void looses its stronghold there’s a whole new world waiting. This is the world where you get to discover what really turns you on. Is it the smell of your morning coffee? Whoa! What was that bird that just whizzed by the window? Is that a new pop song on the radio? I’m diggin’ it. You need to start paying attention to the things/people/places that grab your attention and make you go oooooh!—even for a millisecond. Jot them down and start building your turn-on list. This is the gateway to fulfillment from the inside out because you are leading the path and will have knowledge of what actually stokes your fire vs. letting the outside world tell you what does.

Sense-able Dates

Once you know your turn-ons, you can start booking sense-able dates with yourself. These can be anywhere from five minutes to five hours. What you’ll do is consciously and actively use your senses to engage in your turn on. Realize that you loooooove the smell of lavender? Great! Get some lavender essential oil, open the bottle, hold it under your nose and breathe deeply for a few minutes. Nothing else. Just you, your breath and the oil. Like the taste of lavender? Cool (me too). Get some lavender tea or some lavender infused chocolate or your favorite lavender munchie. Then enjoy drinking or eating it—slowly. Really get the taste of it in your mouth and feel it moving down your throat into your body and infusing all your cells. Want to go all the way? Get thee to the lavender fields in France and frolic around for hours. You get the gist.

There’s nothing more mojolicious than a woman comfortable in her own skin. These three steps all lead you to fill up from the inside out where you access pleasure, peace and fulfillment. Where will you begin?

Big love,