Women: Friend or Foe?

For years I thought I was cool with other women. I’ve had lots of gal pals throughout my life. Many have come and gone. And many remain. What I’ve learned is that I didn’t trust other women in the past. Really. Like when it came down to brass tacks, I felt unsure about my female compatriots. Call it lack of positive female role models, society, culture, media or what have you. I had it. And didn’t know it. Until I recognized a pattern. I’d meet a woman. We’d dig each other. Become close friends. Pal around, share life and then suddenly without warning, she’d drop me. Literally. Done with Deborah. And it felt like shit. And worse, it reinforced the insidious latent belief: do not trust women.

Thoughtful introspection, a good therapist and commitment to being a salt of the earth woman revealed the root of that pattern. Which meant I could make the decision to change my belief that ultimately was the attractor of the pattern. Today, I actively seek the company of women. My intention is to show up as honestly as possible. And that doesn’t mean it’s puppies and roses all the time.

As women, we posses a deep desire to be ‘seen.’ To be known in a way that is beyond color, clothes, jobs, family or hobbies. We need to share our deepest selves in order actually SEE ourselves.

This happens in the company of good women. There’s a reason women gathered in circles from the beginning of time. Back in the day, it was a practical division of labor combined with the richness of women’s sacred work. Rituals around a woman’s cycle brought consciousness to biological rhythms combined with phases of the moon. Today, we live in overdrive. There are endless distractions, commitments, interests and laundry lists of stuff. Yet the fact remains the same – there’s nothing like being in the company of women to know and nurture ourselves. It is there we see our honest reflection. What is it in her that feels right to me? Like I know who she is without saying a word? What is it in her that sets me on edge? Does it remind me of a piece of myself I’m unwilling to look at or accept? What is it in her that inspires me? Scares me? Teaches me something new?

I encourage you to look at the women in your life. How are you sharing yourself? In order to be a fully mojolicious woman, we need to know the variety of flavors out there. And believe me ladies; we women have 31 and then some.

Big love,