Dating – The Mojo Way

For all the single ladies, I beg you to take a new approach to dating. Please stop doing what I did for years because I hear too many of you doing it as well. It’s this: falling into the trap of showing up at every first date with THE big question glaring on your face like a neon sign in Times Square silently shouting at the guy across from you: ARE YOU THE ONE?!

There’s natural tension on first dates. Most people tend to bring a load of preconceived BS to the table. It includes the need and desire to be loved and acknowledged. The need for approval and to feel special. Even for a moment. Just recognize that that’s always in the air.

Once you’re aware of that, you can giggle to yourself, take a breath and actually be present with this person in front of you.

And honestly, it’s really not about you. You’re not walking down the aisle tomorrow. Relax. There’s another being in front of you. Spend some time checking them out. Curiosity is your friend on these dates.

Which is why I suggest you begin going on practice dates. Think about that for a second. You’re going to practice dating. You don’t have to get it right. You don’t need to win the first time out of the gate. You don’t even need to take it too seriously like your life depends on it.

Adopting this attitude brings more freedom and fun to the process. When you show up in that energy, you give yourself permission to be yourself and without saying a word, you also allow the date to do the same.

Mojo Exercise:

Be a ‘quality’ sleuth on your practice dates. Meaning, investigate what qualities this person brings to your encounter. Are they caring? Humorous? Intelligent? Confident?

Keep a log or journal with all the qualities you identify in your dates. Star, highlight, circle or take a pink sharpie and draw a heart around the ones you know turn you on. Those are the ones that make you come alive just thinking about them. Then cross out, X out or take a black sharpie and draw a skull and cross bones on the ones you know are absofriggin-nowayjose-neverever-lootely going to work for you.

The more you learn experientially what you desire in a mate, the easier it will be to draw that to you because you’ve had experience with what it feels and looks like.

Above all else, remember this:

You are a gorgeous creature. Full of mojo, mystery and magnificence. There is no one else like you and there never will be. Above all else, give yourself the gift of cultivating a relationship with a partner who sees, acknowledges and encourages you to be even more you every single day. THAT’s mojolicious!

Big love,