End the Good Girl vs. Bad Girl Debate

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. ~ Gloria Steinem

This is a big conversation. The good girl vs. bad girl debate is such an old story. We’ve been stuck in this dynamic for centuries. It affects our families, communities, society and pop culture. Pitting women into the good girl corner or the bad girl one limits all of us from being fully self-expressed and engaged in life.

The fact of the matter is you’re BOTH good girl and bad girl. And that’s really cool because you want to have both of those roles to enjoy life to it’s fullest. But of course we pretty much got pigeon holed into one or the other when we were growing up. From that point what happened was you started to make yourself small because you got stuck expressing yourself from only one side of this equation.

Let’s say, if you were identified as the good girl, most likely all you are going to do in your life is make the safe decision. The appropriate one. You will do your best to do the right thing. You are not necessarily going to take risks or go out with that person that might not be the one you thought you want to go out with, but they seem really interesting. But yikes! It’s not the ‘right’ thing to do. So that’s one side of it.

The other side is the bad girl one. Bad girls do all the things society says they shouldn’t. The bad girls, like the good girls, get pigeon holed in their arena. Sadly though, the bad girls tend to be thought of as not smart or savvy enough. They are often thought of as ineligible for certain jobs or frankly, certain relationships.

Needless to say, these 2 dynamics have got to go. It is a longer road to rid society of the good girl/bad girl polarization. But like everything, it starts with you. And right now I offer you permission to drop this antiquated dynamic in your life. Do you identify as the good girl? Not anymore. You identify with the bad girl? Nope. You are done with all that. Because here’s the deal—you are so much more than just a good girl or bad girl. Confining yourself to one of those roles keeps your life a fraction of what it could be.

MOJO EXERCISE:

If you have identified as the good girl – try out doing a bad girl thing. Go eat something your good girl wouldn’t normally eat. Wear saucy underwear to work. Laugh too loudly at the next social event. Wear fierce stilettos to your next business meeting.

And if you have identified as the bad girl, try something a good girl might do. Do something that might be more ‘proper’ and see what that feels like. Wear a lighter shade of lipstick. Put on an outfit that leans to the conservative side of your nature. Ask permission from someone in your life before you make your next plan.

Stretching into the opposite side of the good girl/bad girl equation shows you that BOTH ends of the spectrum exist within you. From this place, you will experience being more self-expressed and start feeling into the huge expanse that lies between the two polarities. Of course, you can then start interacting with the fullness of who you are unencumbered by outdated labels. You will be much more seen in your life and you’ll feel more whole as a woman.

So mojolicious one, were you labeled the good girl or the bad girl growing up? And are you willing to drop living from that dynamic? Share with me in the comments below.

Big love,